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Battlefield Earth 2.5 out of 10
Running time: 1:57 MPAA rating: PG-13 (Intense sci-fi action.) Peruvian rating: Mayores de 14
Cast:
John Travolta, Barry Pepper,
Forest Whitaker, Kim Coates, Sabine Karsenti, Richard Tyson, Marie-Josée
Croze, Kelly Preston. |
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There's a reason why I've placed Battlefield Earth in my list of the worst movies ever. Centuries may pass by, and thousands of films may be released, but I'm pretty sure none of them will make this piece of trash ever leave the list. Really, I agree with master critic Roger Ebert: Battlefield Earth is not only bad, it's also ugly and unpleasant. I've never in my life walked out of a movie, and I mean never. Not even when I was watching Showgirls. Or when I was watching Son of the Mask. I did watch the whole of Battlefield Earth, but there were moments - too many of them, actually - when I wished I was doing something else, and was on the verge of turning off the TV or fast-forwarding the movie. (Yes, I was fortunate enough of not watching the movie in theatres.) Yup, Battlefield Earth is definitely one of the most undesirable, unwatchable, horribly-scripted, directed and acted "films" I've ever seen in my entire life.
This "movie" takes place in the Year 3000, a time in which our Earth is no longer ruled by mankind; in fact, it hasn't been for nearly 1000 years. Our species has been virtually exterminated by the vicious Psychlos, who use humans as chattel in their mining operations. The protagonist is called Jonnie Goodboy Tyler (Barry Pepper), an independent and rebellious young man from a mountain colony who is captured and enslaved, and then rebels against his masters. The basic premise pits the underdog human beings against the spacefaring Psychlos, who are led by the villainous Terl (a laughable John Travolta) and his equally evil henchman, Ker (an embarrassed-looking Forest Whitaker). Terl is interested in mining a secret vein of gold so he can buy his way off Earth; Jonnie has decided that eliminating the Psychlos isn't good enough - he wants to destroy their planet.
Everything in this flick is awful. And I mean awful. There's Roger Christian's (a protégé of George Lucas) direction, for instance, which is completely chaotic and amateurish. The film's look is horrible, he uses different "fancy" camera angles which inject absolutely nothing of interest into the movie whatsoever, and makes too much use of slow motion, which makes the film feel exaggeratedly slow and boring. And yes, it is boring, not only due to Christian's direction, but also because it's one of the dumbest, most logic-defiant movies I've ever seen. Hubbard's novel, I hear, is not bad at all - I've never read it - but any evidence of the Scientologist's smart ideas must have been completely erased from this production. The plot is incoherent and stupid, and there are plot holes and errors everywhere. How can the hero find a pristine book and cars with intact tires in an abandoned Earth 1000 years after it was destroyed? How can a jet that's been abandoned for almost 1000 years still fly? Inconsistencies and stupid mistakes such as these abound, and it's just impossible to take this movie seriously, no matter how much one tries.
Performances are also horrible. John Travolta can be likeable and charismatic in the right role - I even liked him in Hairspray, for goodness' sake - but he's just wrong as the bad guy of this flick. He should have been a frightening, imposing and nasty kind of character, but since Travolta can't pull off that kind of role, he just ends up being... well, not precisely credible. Forest Whitaker seems embarrassed and he doesn't fare any better than Travolta - he actually regretted participating in this movie; I mean, who wouldn't? - and Barry Pepper as Goodboy the good guy is stiff and unconvincing. Given the awful and incoherent script, it would take an actor of immeasurable qualities to make a good performance out of any of the characters and, unsurprisingly enough, none of the thespians manage to give a single credible performance. Additionally, since most of them are covered by layers of latex and/or sport laughable and cheap-looking costumes, it's pretty hard to recognize the actors.
Technically, the movie's also a mess. Special effects are awful: CGI looks obviously fake, matte paintings call attention to themselves, and modelwork is horrible; the filmmakers seem incapable of creating new worlds or a destroyed/abandoned Earth, and everything in the film, from costumes to set design to special effects and makeup looks cheap and fake. Editing is also horrendous; action sequences are a mess and a pain to follow, and Christian makes use of several wipes which make the movie seem all the more amateurish. I know George Lucas is not the best of directors, but Christian doesn't seem to have learned absolutely anything from the bearded one.
Battlefield Earth is one of the most incompetent, unentertaining and ugly motion picture I've ever seen. If I do have to say anything positive about the movie, I would say that at least the framing was all right, that the film was on focus, and that there wasn't any gratuitous gore or nudity. Those compliments are misleading, though. The movie is one of the worst science fiction movies I've ever seen, and doesn't even deserve to be mentioned on the same sentence as the likes of Even Horizon. Yeah, it's that bad. Reportedly, the film's based only on the first half of Hubbard's book, and since it was a commercial flop, there are no plans of creating sequel. I guess the fact that no-one saw it and that there isn't another flick on the way is some kind of blessing. Battlefield Earth is not only one of the most unwatchable movies ever, it's also a really, really ugly flick.
©2008 Sebastián Zavala - GG site