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Batman and Robin 3 out of 10
Running time: 2:06 MPAA rating: PG-13 (Strong stylized action and some innuendos.) Peruvian rating: Mayores de 14
Cast:
George Clooney, Arnold Schwarzenegger,
Chris O'Donnell, Uma Thurman, Alicia Silverstone, Michael Gough, Pat
Hingle, Elle Macpherson, John Glover, Jeep Swenson. |
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The Batman franchise started back in 1989, when Tim Burton's masterful Batman was released in theatres. It wasn't a perfect film, but it was entertaining, fun - yet dark - and believable. A couple of years later, Burton released Batman Returns. The movie was even darker than it's predecessor, but it still was effective, entertaining and convincing. After this first sequel, Burton left the director's chair, and left that position to Joel Schumacher, who would later release Batman Forever. This third part wasn't as great as Burton's efforts, but it nevertheless entertained me. There were some things I didn't like about it - rubber nipples, it was too light and flashy - but I can't say it's a bad movie. After that third installment was a world-wide success, Schumacher decided to release yet another Batman film and thus Batman and Robin was born. Alas, it turned out to be a disappointment. No, more than a disappointment. Batman and Robin is one of the crappiest, pointless and dumb movies ever released, and an embarrassment to anyone involved in its production, as well as an insult to anything related to the Dark Knight and his world. I don't mind a semi-campy take on Batman - I mean, the original Adam West show isn't bad - but this is too much.
But why is this film so bad? "It can't be that bad," you might be saying. "I mean, it's got George Clooney, right?" Well, yeah, it does have Clooney, and although the man tries to make his part as believable as possible, he can't handle the crappy screenplay all by himself, which requires him to behave more as a caricature than a heroic caped crusader. This is the most uninteresting, undeveloped and boring Batman that has ever "graced" the big screen. Yes, there are attempts at developed, but they're a joke, and the character is as one-dimensional at the end of the movie as he was at the beginning. Additionally, Batman is not the only boring character. Robin is nothing more than an annoying, whining brat, and to make things worse, a new character in the form of Alicia Silverstone's Batgirl is added, which increases the number of soulless, paper-thin characters populating the movie.
Visually, the film might be impressive, but since Schumacher seems to think that "the bigger, better", everything's over-the-top and exaggerated. Skyscrapers reach into the clouds, vistas of the city are dark and flashy and extremely gothic-looking, and the film in general takes everything into the extreme. Besides, the special effects aren't that great... the scene at the beginning where Batman and Robin fly using some sort of boards or something looks laughably fake, with the bluescreen work looking really obvious. And there's the rubber nipples... yes, Schumacher seems to think Batman's world is a world of fetishism and extreme wackiness, and decided to insert rubber nipples into our "heroes'" suits, and include shots of their butts and crotches while they suit up. Do we need butt and crotch shots in a Batman movie? I don't think so. The filmmakers have taken Burton's crazy and demented - yet dark and respectful - vision of Gotham city and twisted it into something... awful and embarrassing.
In terms of the story, yes, there is something like a plot in this film, but since it's treated with clumsiness and goofiness, I don't think it's worth mentioning. Beneath all those rubber nipples, exaggerated vistas and crappy performances, there's an interesting story which requires the character of Mr. Freeze (the bad guy) to show some emotion... he used to be a scientist that became obsessed with his wife's death and now is trying to revive her at all costs. Yes, there's some potential in this story, but since Mr. Freeze is played by freakin' Arnold Schwarzenegger, all we get is cheesy one-liners, and basically an incomplete character who ends up looking really stupid trying to freeze the whole of Gotham city. Had it been treated differently, his story would have allowed the audience to sympathize with Mr. Freeze. As it is, though, it's impossible to root for him, or even be interested in him.
Some of this could have been forgiven if the film's action sequences were interestingly-choreographed, or if they caused tension or got the heart pumping. Unfortunately, all the "action" present in the movie is amazingly boring, badly-choreographed, mindless and confusing. All action scenes are full of one-liners that make the characters seem even more stupid, and they're so badly edited that it's almost impossible to follow them or understand what the heck is happening. Additionally, since our "heroes" are so lousily characterized and developed, and the plot is treated so goofily, it's impossible to root for any character during these sequences, or to understand why the hell they're fighting and jumping around. And since the special effects are so crappy, it's also pretty hard to believe these sequences are actually happening.
Batman and Robin is one of the worst movies I have ever seen, not only because it's almost unwatchable, it has crappy special effects, non-existent characterization and rubber nipples, but also because it - temporarily - destroyed the reputation of the Batman character, and - temporarily - destroyed a profitable franchise which had started strongly with Tim Burton's movies. It may not be as bad as any of Uwe Boll's movies, but with its inane and goofy characters, laughable special effects, butt and crotch shots and extreme silliness, Batman and Robin is one of the worst - if not the worst - superhero films ever. Fortunately, Christopher Nolan - the amazing Memento - and his team decided to save the Batman character in 2005, and thus created Batman Begins, which is, in my opinion, one of the best superhero films ever made. Back in 1997, though, everyone thought the character would never appear on the big screen again, and after watching Batman and Robin, it's not hard to see why. Really, if you like Batman, or even if you only like movies, avoid this "film" at all costs.
©2007 Sebastián Zavala - GG site