Commentaries - June 2008

Two falling stars – 06/30/08

Going to the theatres this weekend has inspired to talk about a couple of “falling stars” in this commentary: Eddie Murphy and M. Night Shyamalan. Granted, although the former used to be a bankable star who performed in quality movies, the latter was never considered a “star” – he’s a director, after all, but yes, he used to do quality films. Why was I inspired by this? I went to watch The Happening (the latest Shyamalan turd), and I had to endure the Meet Dave (the latest Murphy turd) trailer before watching the flick. Neither the movie nor the trailer managed to impress me.

Let’s talk about Shyamalan first. Let’s make something clear: I was never a fan of The Sixth Sense. Yes, it had atmosphere, and yes, it was kinda creepy, but the twist failed to surprise me, and the movie was never scary. Plus, even though Hailey Joel Osment gave a pretty solid performance, Bruce Willis looked dead – pun intended, heh – all the time. His next effort, Unbreakable, a really uncommon “superhero” movie, was much better. Willis and Samuel L. Jackson gave solid performances, the film was interesting and never boring, and yeah, it was a much more entertaining experience as a whole. Signs was also good. Yeah, Mel Gibson looked robotic, and given the performances, it was kinda hard to sympathize with the characters, but the film was creepy and, sometimes, downright scary. (Unlike Sense.)

But then it all went down. The Village is a mediocre effort for Shyamalan. He had really talented actors at his disposal – Joaquin Phoenix, William Hurt, Adrien Brody, Sigourney Weaver, Brendan Gleeson – and wasted them in pointless, uninteresting roles. The movie is neither scary nor tense, and the less is said about the final “twist”, the better. It was kinda shocking, yeah, but when you think about it, it’s stupid too. Shyamalan’s next movie, Lady in the Water, was also disappointing. Previews looked pretty cool, but the film failed at making the audience believe what they were saying. If you’re trying to tell a fairytale, no matter how preposterous it is, the audience is supposed to believe in it. Additionally, performances are awkward (as in most Shyamalan movies) and the film isn’t just any fun. And this year, well… we have The-friggin’-Happening.

Eddie Murphy’s case is pretty similar. The guy used to make really good movies, but nowadays he’s resorted to make painfully unfunny and gross “comedies.” Back in the day, his films were hilarious. He started really strong with 48 Hrs., and continued making really good films with Trading Places, Coming to America, Beverly Hills Cop 1 and 2. The third part was pretty crappy, but other efforts such as Bowfinger are decent. Oh, and let’s not forget about Dreamgirls, which is a really good film, and features Murphy giving a really good performance.

But that’s it. Apart from these flicks, Murphy has resorted to make gross-out, stupid films, or unfunny “family” comedies. The Nutty Professor, The Nutty Professor II and Norbit all belong to the former category, while films like Doctor Dolittle (and it sequel), The Adventures of Pluto Nash (you all know how that went out), Daddy Day Care (ugh!) and The Haunted Mansion belong to the latter. What do these films have in common? They’re all boring, unfunny and stupid. Murphy may be amusing as a secondary character (like in the Shrek movies, where he only lends his voice to an animated character), but he has definitely proved that he sucks as a leading man. And Meet Dave? That movie has one of the unfunniest, stupidest and cringe-worthy trailers ever made. Movies like Get Smart have crappy trailers but end up being hilarious; Meet Dave has such a bad trailer that I find it impossible for the flick to be even remotely funny. Besides, the director (Brian Robbins) is the same guy who gave us Norbit, so I don’t think it’s such a bad idea to judge the trailer before the release of the film.

Yup, two falling stars. The funny thing is that Shyamalan actually had more potential; the man has made few movies, and of those, most of his early ones are pretty good. (In addition, he also wrote the script for Stuart Little, which is a fine family film.) Murphy, one the other hand, as a couple of really good movies, but tons of crappy ones. And when I say crappy, I mean  Norbit-crappy. Will I see Meet Dave? I don’t think so. I’ve already endured Norbit, and believe me, I didn’t enjoy it at all. Will I watch Shyamalan’s next effort, the adaptation of The Last Airbender? Probably. Since it isn’t a suspense or horror movie, I’m willing to give the man a chance. Maybe all he needs is a change of pace in order to make quality movies once again.

Sebastián “GG” Zavala

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Would you believe it… - 06/18/08

This week marks the return of Maxwell Smart, the bumbling secret agent that was played by the late John Adams in the Get Smart TV series. This time, though, he’s being played by comedian Steve Carell (The 40 Year Old Virgin, Evan Almighty), and from what I hear, the movie’s hilarious. I won’t be able to watch it until Friday night, so I’ll probably post my review on Saturday. I’ll go with pretty high expectations – don’t worry, I laugh pretty easily, as long as the film’s not too dumb -, but I’m sure the film will satisfy my expectations. For the time being, though, I’ve wrote and posted my review for The 40 Year Old Virgin, the movie that consolidated Carell’s career and made him a well-known star. That film is the reason I trust Get Smart will be hilarious – it’s definitely one of the funniest movies I’ve ever seen.

Regarding our big, green monster – while The Incredible Hulk grossed less money last weekend than Ang Lee’s 2003 version, it will probably end up making tons of cash. Hulk underperformed because it made like five dollars in theatres after its first weekend – word-of mouth was horrible because it didn’t deliver what fanboys were expecting. Yeah, as many of you know, I loved Ang Lee’s Hulk, but unlike other “supporters of my cause”, I liked Louis Leterrier’s sequel/reboot too. It’s not as intelligent or thoughtful as its predecessor, but it does deliver the goods: competent characterization, lots of references to other Marvel comics and characters, and tons of action. Hulk Smash!!!!

“But what about The Happening?”, you might be wondering. Well, I only had time last week to see one movie in theatres, and I decided to pick The Incredible Hulk because a.) I wanted to compare it to Ang Lee’s version, b.) It was definitely gonna be the movie of the week, meaning that a review of that particular film was going to get me more readers, and c.) I’ve never been a fan of M. Night Shyamalan. Unlike most people, I don’t believe The Sixth Sense is a masterpiece of suspense; the twist is by no means surprising, and the film never managed to give me the goosebumps. The rest of his films, with the possible exception of Signs, are pretty mediocre – Lady in the Water is particularly crappy. Given my past experiences with this director, I knew The Happening wasn’t worth my money – despite the presence of Mark Wahlberg (a really good actor) and Zooey Deschanel (one of my favourite actresses) – and I guess I wasn’t wrong. Everybody seems to think the film sucks, so yeah… I’ll wait a couple of months for the DVD.

This week I’ll be really busy with the “premiere” of my school Spanish Play – we’re acting on Thursday, Friday and Saturday - so my next review will probably be the Get Smart one on Saturday morning. Regarding Stranger in Peril – I’ll probably restart filming next week’s Friday. We’ve already shot the first couple of scenes, and due to scheduling and scenery-related reasons, we’ll probably shoot the last few scenes next week. Expect the next updates to arrive between Monday and Wednesday. In the meantime, I’ll be impatiently waiting for Friday to arrive – I’m really hyped-up for Get Smart, and although my expectations, while high, are pretty modest – all I wanna do is to have some fun and laugh like a madman -, I’m sure it’ll fulfil them.

Sebastián “GG” Zavala

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Sex, Kings and 3D – 06/02/08

No Sex and the City for the Star Wars Epica this week. Don’t get me wrong; if the movie had been playing in Peruvian theatres, I would’ve definitely seen it, but since it hasn’t been released yet in here, I didn’t. I don’t know when it’s gonna be released; there is a poster in every theatre, so I guess we won’t have to wait too much to have it here. What did surprise me about it is that it ended up being the highest-grossing R-rated movie of all time. It surpassed movies like The Matrix Reloaded or The Passion of the Christ. I guess it was pretty obvious: every middle-aged woman in the U.S. went to see it, dragging their dates or husbands, something that prevented Indy 4 from winning the box office this weekend. Word in the streets is that, if you’re not a fan of the series or if you’re a heterosexual guy, the movie will be atrocious for you; but if you’re a woman, a homosexual guy or simply a fan of the series, you’ll love it.

Anyway, since there was no Sex and the City this week, I went to see Street Kings in theatres. It was released here in Peru last Thursday, but there weren’t many people watching it in the theatre I went to. The movie? Well, it wasn’t bad; it was pretty entertaining and tense, actually, but a masterpiece it ain’t. This is an 80s kind of film, a cop movie that provides with characters that populate the grey area of personality, and has lots of gritty and realistic action sequences. This flick here doesn’t want to be a special-effects-filled blockbuster… so if you like old-fashioned cop-versus-bad-guys actioner, you’ll definitely love it. So yeah, Keanu Reeves is a little stiff – as always -, but he’s not that bad here… It’s a pity the movie didn’t do too well in U.S. theatres, though. Since it hasn’t been released in all international markets, I hope it’ll do better in those countries.

A word on digital 3D theatres: even though we don’t have IMAX here in Peru, I do have good news for my Peruvian readers. (And any other people who for some reason care for good news in my home country.) The first digital 3D theatre is gonna open tomorrow. Yeah, we will only have ONE (I repeat: ONE) digital 3D theatre here. (Which actually makes sense, considering we only have like 30 theatres in the whole of Peru, as opposed to the U.S.’s 4000 or so theatres.) I plan to go and see a movie in 3D this weekend… probably Beowulf (which I only saw in the traditional format last year), The Nightmare Before Christmas, or the new Brendan Fraser movie (which isn’t a Mummy flick), Journey to the Centre of the Earth. Personally, I would watch Nightmare; it’s a flick I’ve always loved, and considering that Journey looks kinda crappy, it would be the best option. (Beowulf would be an equally cool option, though.) I’ll see what films are available on the weekend.

What reviews to expect this week? Well, I’ve started to watch Elizabeth: The Golden Age on DVD, so I guess I’ll have the review ready in a couple of days. Apart from that, I don’t know… I see what films I can watch. Also expect more updates – the first one later or maybe tomorrow, depends on my free time – regarding my suspense flick, which now has a title, a final script, and almost all the casting already done. I’m really excited! Hope some of my readers are equally excited… if everything goes well, I should start the shooting in a couple of weeks, or maybe less.

Sebastián “GG” Zavala

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